Icaros de la Selva

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CHUCHUHUASI

In 2023 I did a diet with Chuchuhuasi in Mayantuyacu (Peru). A particularly powerful healer for blood, bones and nerves. But the more profound healing came from an unexpected source. Getting to know and see myself, accept and allow my own spirit. This CD sings about the healing I received. As an explanation of this CD, I share with you below my travel report of Peru 2023.

Travelogue Peru 2023

4:30 a.m., the rooster crows. I wake up in Mayantuyacu. Arrived yesterday afternoon and immediately went into ceremony, the journey inside has started. I learn during these 3 weeks, especially about my nature, or rather my natural orientation and the search and sometimes also the fight with myself throughout my life to be able to keep connecting with this. I am a gentle spirit, soft is my nature. With that nature, I was often overwhelmed by the world. I often chose the path of shutting down or imitating others in order to fit into the picture. So the path of the plants was 'needed' for myself at the time to escape this trap and wake up from my manifested dream. I gradually learned through the nature outside again about my inner nature: the nature of my spirit. To this day I am on my way, on my way to my essence, but the game of 'seeking' has stopped, no matter how fun and addictive it was...everything is already there and has always been there: game over!

But the biggest lesson for me was about my own cultured shapeshifter. The spirit that adapts, masks its essence, imitates and blends in for the good peace. Learning from other mirrors brought and brings me a lot, but also brought me pitfalls and sneaky unexpected side effects. Learning from others, for the sake of understanding others, also became a mechanism to feel safety and limitation in this world. If I don't limit myself in time in this...it will be another endless game of wanting to protect myself

Always more and more insights about people, about life, the world and even the universe...until a certain moment all those insights serve as an addition to my story, so perhaps to make me feel 'safer'. And actually it is no more than that, a big story about safety. When and how did this insecurity arise? For me it was by thinking and feeling that I was not ok, not good enough, not happy enough, not sad enough, not masculine or feminine enough...in short, not ok Just the way I am.

And then the world feels unsafe, because it seems that the world is constantly pointing the finger at your 'mistakes' or 'shortcomings'. I had to start behaving differently in order to meet the demands of that world, or I couldn't help but tell myself that, until eventually I started projecting that self-formed reality back onto the world outside, making it a self-fulfilling reality. prophecy became, an illusory golden cage.

The realization in this life that you are just completely ok the way you are, that it was never really different, that the feeling of insecurity was a result of one's own creations arising from conclusions and assumptions…that was my path…and me I am grateful to all teachers, that I can now live a life just the way I am. From this dream I gradually started to awaken 15 years ago. I therefore chose a work in close combat mirroring with the white arrow. To learn from you about myself. I have guided you as best as possible on your personal liberation from your dream, but you also helped me to grow more and more in my essence and to leave my dream for what it is...although that dream can be so seductive and persuasive go to work. This makes me the man I am today and I remain especially focused on expressing and allowing the essence of my spirit more and more. I chose to leave in silence this year. That simply suited the nature and purpose of this trip. I really wanted to be on my own, close to my own spirit, because connecting daily with all of your beautiful spirits is quite a balancing act not to neglect and honor mine. I also noticed in the past that an announced departure caused the white arrow to travel along in one way or another. This intention immediately came to manifestation, the first 14 days I was almost alone here in the center. I barely spoke to anyone.

My days consisted of the fixed ritual of a breathing session of an hour after getting up, then some yoga and then sitting on the vapors all morning, the healing vapors of the boiling river with a glass of tea from the river. Towards the end I could hear her talking and singing in my language all the time, or am I actually hearing her language? The spirit of the Shanay Timpishka. I now understand why I included her in sound recordings last year, by making the CD and listening to her spirit in such deep layers, I have learned her language and it seems that we understand each other. She also gave me some icaros which I could often sing in her honor during the ceremonial nights. The afternoons were often filled with more vapors, or short walks along the river or visiting old friends in the jungle, such as the Chullachaqui. But above all, I was alone, completely alone... what a nice word by the way.

The mother of a plant's spirit is seen as its essence, the blueprint from which all those same plants grow. Maybe we also have to be alone to get to our essence, our mother soul. Well, that was the case for me.

The first week did not go without a struggle. The ceremonies were more like 'works', that's how it felt in the beginning. Most people were in tambo (tambo is a secluded hut in the jungle) so the camp was almost empty. 1 person from tambo sang together with maestro and me. In turn, that's a lot of singing, hours on end... without my instruments as an extension of my spirit. Searching for insights and visionary clarity, my main insightful lesson through much singing was to dig deep into my essence. My voice, my song, my timbre, my spirit. In addition to the ceremonial work, I worked daily with the spirit of the chuchuhuasi with the aim of working on my physical recovery (as Juanita always puts it so beautifully). But for me personally, this spirit will now also be linked to healing the wounds made by pushing away my essence or hiding my nature. That will also be the spirit that I will bring when I sing him, that is my connection, my medicine that I was allowed to receive.

Mauantuyacu is a bit like an upsidedown, it's a powerful portal. You don't immediately realize it, but sometimes this place seems out of this world. The spirits here are very powerful. To put it in Castanedas style, I had several encounters with 'power' here. Let yourself be guided. For example, I often sat reading or resting on my bed and suddenly you get up and you have to go to a certain place, why? No idea, but what you do feel is that he has an encounter with power. And when I get there, I make it quiet in my head and my body and let the spirits come closer by letting nature absorb me completely and then there are the wonderful encounters and the gifts.

Mauantuyacu is 1 great medicine. The ceremonies are soft and calm, but day in and day out all those plants that get to work in you, ensured that I was allowed to perceive very fine material in everyday reality, very intense and intense and especially working on old fears from my youth , where I had several encounters with spirits at the time and through which I started to arm myself with fears. These primal fears came so close that I had to act. I literally started walking at my trusted place where I've been staying for three years in a row. It became too much, both at night and during the day there was movement and encounters. My dream world was also no longer safe or just too intense. These spirits were clearly a medicine to bring out these primal fears. Thank you maestro for your patience in this and for letting me choose a new place to sleep. This was also the big turnaround in my process of returning to my essence. Choosing my softness, removing myself from the situation when the lesson is learned and not lingering in it afterwards. A new home for my spirit: spacious, light, airy, well protected against rats. In short, a major turnaround in physical reality brought about a major reversal in my spirit. Again a very precise encounter with 'power'.

I started to find my footing and recover. And it was especially in that 2nd week that my essence came to the surface and I found myself again in all its soft power. From then on everything was different, even singing during ceremonies came more from myself. My voice sounded different, more like…me. In the last 5 days, the return home began to sink in within me. That was noticeable, suddenly there were 10 people in the camp. Quite a change for myself. But it is also good to start the transition gradually. Some nice encounters with people from all over the world.

It is in this phase that I started writing and shaping a new chapter also within 'The White Arrow'. The deepening of the Breathwork. I myself did a deep session on myself every day and wrote out and tested many exercises.

As I finish this letter, I am currently in the air over Brazil. Soon I will see my dear wife and kids again. Then immediately fly in ceremony and a few days later the Shift. It will be perfect as it is.

This CD is a collection in icaros that typifies this year's work for me and suggests a path for the future.